Category Archives: being authentic, being you

‘’ The pain we receive are messengers, kindly listen to them carefully…’’

There is so much of internal baggage we carry as individuals, unknowingly linked to our past experiences and attachments that it starts painting an extremely stagnant present. A lot of this pain we trap in our bodies that later on gets imprinted in our minds and this limits our ability to think objectively and, evokes cynicism in our hearts. Eventually when we start viewing the world differently layered with all our defenses, we attract various things in our lives which is unfortunately a projection of our own miseries.

I have been personally experiencing these issues for a while and it’s a vicious cycle because this unpleasantness lingers on unless I make certain long term changes in my life. We all vary as human beings coming from different walks of life but pain, betrayal, loneliness is something everyone has experienced in one’s life irrespective of one’s background and bank balance. I believe the only difference is that some admit it and most don’t because it takes a lot to share the dysfunctionalities in your life…when the greater focus maybe to maintain your existing image in the society, amongst the many social circles. First of all, these so called varied groups of people we meet are mainly acquaintances, well in my case they definitely are because all you talk about is career, marriage, and insignificant topics that don’t really harness one’s individual growth.

People have forgotten about the depth of human relationships and as an eighteen year old it really surprises me to see people connect in seconds which is wonderful and then walk away in days because if you’re out of sight, you’re conveniently out of mind as well. As an observer I have been flipping through the scripts running in my mind every day.  I sense a lot of despondency and sorrow in most of my thoughts. They say we are responsible for our existing realities, and our life is a projection of our emotions and beliefs but many times I feel these quotes don’t hold any meaning in my life unless I experience them for myself.

‘’ NEVER BELIEVE OR FOLLOW ANY DEFINITION OR QUOTE JUST BECAUSE THE MAJORITY CLAIMS TO BELIEVE IN IT. LEAVE IT, INFACT DISCARD IT IF IT DOESN’T RESONATE WITH YOUR INNER TRUTH…’’

Don’t follow these words that I just highlighted if it fails to add any meaning in your life FYI…

I’ve realised over the years that, I was a much sorted individual when I was younger and life seemed very simple and straight-forward. Later on, when I started growing up understanding human emotions, how people behave, their intentions, their attitude and objectives, I couldn’t gather what hit me! This painful awakening rattled my understanding of people and how they are. When you’re hurt several times in your life, somewhere subconsciously you start believing that you’re the one attracting these experiences… after seeing an external reality that doesn’t resonate with your intentions by any means.

But what really got me writing these scattered insights today is all the frustration and anguish I’ve been storing in my mind and body that makes me feel overworked even in the most peaceful and pleasant places because internally if you’re incomplete, anything you do will only get you temporary satisfaction. As a result of holding these toxic emotions one’s immunity gets affected and trust me stress plays such an integral part in our lives, it can give you sleepless nights if left unaddressed. There are few rough patches in my life I’m dealing with currently but since I’m consciously trying to add bits of optimism in my life I can actually write these thoughts and share them today. But, I know these are waves and eventually I’ll overcome these problems as well. These issues, when I confront them seem very minor but when I look at the impact they can have long-term it adds an element of fear in my life. Especially when it comes to family because, if you belong to a close-knit family that is connected on the deepest level in all aspects of their lives, and when suddenly that sanctuary of yours starts fading away and creating friction you feel vulnerable as an individual. At this point  we’re going through such rapid shifts that everything you were certain about starts challenging you and pushing boundaries, and whatever’s the closest to you becomes the reason for a lot of your agony and sorrow.

In such times, the most unfamiliar things in your life that you would never possibly do would receive an unexpected invitation!

‘’ WE HURT THOSE, WE LOVE THE MOST DON’T WE?’’

Yes, it’s true we do in many ways therefore it builds a foundation for many misunderstandings that take place amongst people and that is because even if you live with  people under similar circumstances you are still leading very different and disconnected lives from your family and later on that forms many barriers between you and your  loved ones.

‘’ DON’T YOU WORRY CHILD, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A WAY OUT AS LONG AS YOU DON’T POSTPONE YOUR ISSUES FOR THE NEXT DAY, AND THEN THE NEXT DAY…’’

You have to confront your issues, sooner or later however ugly they may seem. You’re a beautiful person and if you reach out at the right time you can definitely reform your life for the better, you’re not alone it’s just that you’re yet to witness magic in your life. Stay open to all signals that lead you to your dream life. You can manifest it if you are in touch with your deepest emotions. ‘’WE ARE NOT HERE TO SIMPLY PLEASE ONE ANOTHER, IT DOESN’T ADD MEANING TO OUR LIVES, IT SIMPLY CONDITIONS OUR MIND TO BELIEVE THAT BEING LIKED BY SOMEONE WILL BRING US HAPPINESS. BETTER TO MUCH RATHER YEARN FOR YOUR DREAMS…’’

One of the ways I try to reconnect with some joyful moments, is by going back and browsing through old photographs of happy memories and instances that swept me off my feet and inspired me to make the best out of the existing positives in my life. I have also decided to enjoy doing creative activities rather than waiting for people and their moods to decide my life’s itinerary.

Sometimes, going out to a café all by yourself, having your latte that compliments a soothing view outside the window is more than enough to fulfill you. Doing things that genuinely lighten you up, reconnecting with your inner child and being all silly and mindless just for the heck of it also helps.  From watching cartoons to cracking lame puns that only you get is way better than spending your time in an activity you don’t enjoy. Engage in some service because let’s face it, you feel better about the current situation of your life when you spend time with people who are worse off than you, but more than anything it makes you ask yourself whether your problems are actual problems or just passing phases? Even this is a phase…

Indulge in activities that engage your mind, something long-lasting so that you can shamelessly go do it whenever you feel out of sorts.

‘’STOP OVER-THINKING, WHAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS, MOVE ON TO THE NEXT THING THAT’S AWAITING YOU…JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD.’’

And therefore, I continue to turn to life-like images to find solace because I wish to fill my life with golden memories irrespective of how things turn out and so can you, because nobody can ever snatch these priceless moments from you.  And guess what?

There are many more such Magical moments eagerly awaiting you, so keep looking out for them!!!

Signing out for now…

Thegirlinvogue…

 

These Layers don’t belong to YOU

November20th, 2015

“So much of you is hidden behind those layers which you are yet to discover”…

I haven’t written for so long, I’m still wondering what to type as my fingers are moving uniformly after a while. At present I’m down with a bad viral which further leaves me in a weak and vulnerable state. Because there has been a long gap since I have written anything for my blog, I am extremely restless and on the verge of an emotional outburst.

I have got so much to say, so much to share, now I have realized the importance and urgency of writing. How much muck can a person take? It is so important to get it all out of your system before these toxic feelings get embedded in you and add on to another unwanted layer. In all of this commotion, tension, worry the way we express and perceive situations make a major difference. In fact all the difference! Unknowingly we soak in so much of unwanted waste in our system which persists as an unresolved issue or unattended emotion which can later on lead to a poor immune system. Not kidding, I am referring to myself and many other people who feel alone in a crowd or a group, feel incomplete and empty because something is missing. Now my hesitation to type and my restlessness is slowly reducing. The reason we feel that way is because we don’t tap in and question ourselves, ask ourselves what’s going on. I feel most of us don’t even fully know who we are and what we can be! Our capabilities, needs, qualities, beliefs, ideologies etc.

On another note I would like to thank all my readers for carefully reading and understanding what I have to say because in today’s times people are in such a hurry to speak that the relatively slow speakers who believe in thinking and then speaking get interrupted and their sentence remains incomplete. Due to that sometimes they are misunderstood.

That is why writing is one of the best mediums for teenagers like me to express myself openly and leisurely without any hesitation and fear of getting interrupted or criticized by anybody. We can’t always protect ourselves from getting criticized and judged but make sure that we don’t inherit such traits.

The feeling of being alone is just a phase until we find that one stable and understanding listener. But when? And who? Maybe that one person is right beside you it’s just that you don’t value him/her enough because he/she is easily available or not that popular and wanted. The day we stop having ‘’types’’ in terms of the people we choose to talk to and on what basis we talk to them we’ll lose one layer of judgement. One doesn’t have to get involved or get into a relationship with the person but make the most out of what they give, value it and move on.

We all have an extremely strong sixth sense called intuition which can only be awakened if we get rid of all those unconsciously existing layers.

These layers get formed in the process of one getting disconnected with oneself. This is when we have several external and tempting objects distracting us. Today people are more of a source of distraction than a source of communication and affiliation. When we try to escape our problems we look for people and objects to be the missing piece of the puzzle.

These layers are nothing but temporary and artificial personalities we inherit in order to adapt to a particular situation but that ends up changing who we are altogether. This takes place with the kind of exposure we get in a day, number of conversations we have, the kind of people we meet and the scripts that run in our mind. These scripts are nothing but past incidences and experiences that have an impact on our present state of being. This hinders our openness and capacity to expand and grow. These layers become an obstacle to our flexibility of believing and doing things, being spontaneous and taking risks. We are great decision makers if we know our strengths and weaknesses well enough.

Unfortunately before one experiences something, an immediate “NO” is placed by them in between them and the experience. Our world is progressing in many ways yet our thinking is piled up with those layers. These layers lead to grudges, revenge, loss of trust, hope, judgement, pre-conceived notions, suspicion, poor sense of decision making, all in all, a sense of displacement in a place like home. You can’t expect yourself to be happy by changing the plot and its characters but rather discover your inner person who is hiding under all those layers, the person who was happy when he looked at himself at the mirror and satisfied with what he has and believes in. Such people are extremely joyful and content being with  themselves and don’t have the need to prove anything to the world or gain people by their sides by changing their actual selves and performing messed up emotional stunts. In such a situation we’ll be surprised with the results! If we stop trying fit in, being inauthentic and fake, we will always end up meeting people who genuinely value us and want to know and spend time with that uniqueness in us.

Yes, the number will definitely reduce because now you’re fully yourself but the people who stand by you will be a pillar of support for you always.

As a layperson I believe that everything in this world is not possible but, the power of belief is so strong that whatever you believe with all your mind, heart and soul can actually happen. Even if it is otherworldly for that matter! A person who gets rid of all his layers which is very rare but possible, might be as pure and innocent as he was when he entered the earth as an infant.

So, get rid of these layers which are hindering your individuality….and let go off the past experiences, beliefs, facts!

If you can’t relate to the existing reality you have to create our own!!

Signing out

The Girl in Vogue…

 

***If you have any doubts, questions, problems or insights you can feel free to share them with thegirlinvogue15999@gmail.com